AP (Afghanistan) In a bizarre yet stunning turn of events a villager with a left over soviet surface to air missile launcher has claimed victory over ET.
Early Saturday morning Travis M******son of Jackson, MS reported he witnessed an Afghanistan villager shoot down what was believed to be a plane dispersing an unknown aerosol over the village.
This area is considered “sensitive” as outlying the village are several poppy fields, like the one Travis was being paid by a private army to defend. The yet to be identified “Terrorist” was likely responding to something he heard.
It’s see it [aeresol planes] all the time. I sometimes see many of those planes on the same day.
A civilian shooting down a plane is one thing, what they found was another.
This was no ordinary pilot with no earth bound biology. It was out of this world. It had a truncated snout resembling that of a pig. Eyes in a place akin to most canine species, a thick brown coat, with a mane one the top of its head.
Also found amid the wreckage were storage containers that are speculated to contain one animal apiece.
A scientist participating in the assessment had this to say,
As of now we think inside each box is one animal. So far we have been unable to discern their purpose. We are cautious to proceed as the atmosphere inside the boxes is unknown. It may contain something dangerous. The state of the animals likewise. What’s inside can’t be known until we can safely open the container.
Even more surprising has been the plane itself. It was adorned with unknown writing, an esoteric symbol of an encircled triangle, and equipped with a sophisticated chemical dispersal rig attached to the lower wing’s trailing edge. It seems right out of a dystopian alternate reality.
It is currently unclear to whom the vehicle belongs.
Something observed has been the relatively lax response from black vehicle government clean up crews and disinformation agents one assumes would be crawling all over the scene.
A possible explanation is that this incident occurred over (and crashed near) a poppy plantation owned by a Northern California pharmaceutical company, and they want to avert fueling conspiracy theorists.
Tidbits: Our sources have informed us the alien is alive, in good spirits cooperating (even joking) with authorities, and inquiring as to the whereabouts of his cargo. All other questions have been deferred to the company which sub-leases the plane from a third party.
More on this as it develops.